Horrible news

I received some devastating news on Monday, and I thought my world was about to come crashing down. All I have ever known that I have really wanted, was to be a mother. It was the only thing I have ever been adamant about. Now I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome when I had just turned 18, and at the time I was told that I may struggle to get pregnant. At the time I wasn't a relationship or the mental state to become a mother, so I dismissed it and carried on with life. It wasn't really hurting me, I knew i needed to loose weight to keep my body ticking over but it wasn't really a huge issue.
But now that I have become engaged, ( YAY!!!) to a man I adore, and we do want to look at having children in the future, I thought I would revisit the situation.
So off I trundle, Man in toe, down to the doctors to talk about it further and get some more information. To my astonishment doc says, "You have a limited amount of time to get pregnant, if at all. But we need to check that you are producing eggs"
Well what can I say, I was lost for words. After a few moments gathering my wits, I asked what steps we needed to take to check this all out and see what was going on. So Doc sent me off for blood tests to make sure that my hormone levels were OK for conception.
That was last Friday. Monday rolls around and I am at a training session and I receive a phone call, its my Man, he says, "Doc called, you NEED to call them back" first though in my head? SHIT!!!!!
But I wait till lunch break, and call them back. The news?

"Miss, your NOT producing any eggs. Doc needs to see you" Once again gob smacked. You could have slapped me with a wet fish. So I booked in for the next night to speak with Doc again.
After a hellishly long night, we once again, Man following diligently behind, go back to the clinic. After an hour and a half wait, we go in and see Doc. He says "Your hormones are way out of whack. You have less than 2% of the hormone needed to produce eggs. BUT..." Finally I could breathe "We can do something about it, if we get on to it soon." THANK THE LORD IN HEAVEN!
Doc then went on to explain that I would need to check that my Fallopian tubes weren't blocked, in a rather painful procedure called a Hysterosalpingogram. Then, if that comes back all clear, I may start on a fertility hormone and try to become pregnant. If this doesn't not work I will then have to go on to see a Gynecologist.
So I guess some good has come of it. But right now, I feel like I am the one who has caused this, because my body is not producing what it needs too. It is a horrible feeling.
Hopefully we will come out the other end of this journey, stronger and part of the beginning of our family