Sort of Figured

I have been so... In control lately. It has been so long since I did a post i thought it was about time.
 A hell of a lot has changed. Firstly. I got into University. I was doing a Diploma of Popular Music and Performance. But in the last week and a half that has gone down the drain. Hey what can I say! Situation change. I have found my self doing a heap of changing recently. I had fun and learned a lot, but when it is time to move on, it is time to move on.

I have also found the most amazing man ever. Who would have thought he was right in front of me all along? An old friend of the family. His father set my parents up.
I have never felt this way before. He makes me feel whole, and alive. Like the rest of my life is just a footstep away. I can see my future unfolding in front of me. For the first time in my life I can see where I have to go next to achieve. It is an amazing feeling. One that I don't plan on letting go of easily.

I just got back from spending the week with my boyfriend in his home town. Which happens to be approximately 1153.76kms away, or 14 hours and 16 mins. Long distance relationships can work. We are testament to that. Anyway, the week I spent there was absolutely amazing. I finally met some of his closest friends, who informed me they were scared of me... I couldn't have laughed harder! I truly do not know what he has been telling them for them to be afraid of me! I am probably the least scary person I know!! But we also made some plans. Including my relocation to a closer destination. In simpler terms, we are moving in together. And now that I write it like that, it has become daunting! But no, this is the man I intend to spend the rest of my life with, so in all honesty, I am more excited than anything else.

So I have all intents to write all the time. But the reality of it is. I write when I feel the need to, and that, is not a thing I plan on changing anytime soon

Love and Light

Kaitlin

Finally I am able to blog from my phone, this will make my blog life so much easier. Now I have every thing at my fingertips!!! This is just a short one, just testing my phones blogging capabilities seems good enough to me!!

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Back Again

I have been spending a lot of time thinking lately. About where i want to be in the next few years, like what i want to have achieved. And to tell the absolute truth, I have no idea. I have lots of options, but nothing seems attainable. It like every think is just out of my reach. This might be because I am the type of person that like instantaneous gratification, or because i just cant see my self becoming more than i am.

I don't see how some one like me, who, all their life has been told that they are no more than mediocre, can become more than just another name in a phone book. I want to be recognized and known, but i don't know if i have the self esteem and or talent to get myself anywhere.

I was always 2nd or 3rd, and never as good as my brother. He is the prodigy child, the one every goes, WOW! about. I'm just average old me, trying my best but never achieving as high as he did. He never did anything that was so wrong that it out did what he was amazing at. Don't get me wrong I love him and all, but sometimes I wish that it was me people were in awe of. Or at least patting on the back.

But maybe one day i will be who i see my self as in my dreams and i will become more than anyone i know thinks i can ever be.

Love and Light

Kaitlin